Friday, 16 April 2004

University!

Friday, 16 April 2004 16:49
prepare4trouble: (edgar)
It's official, I hate uni. Of course, I've known that for years, but, well, I really, really hate it. 1500 words to go on my dissertation and I can't think of a thing to write. I'm sure I'm going to fail my exams. I say that every time, but this time I'm really sure. Then, to top it all off I get an E-mail from the uni about a group photo for all the European studies students on the same day as one of my exams, which means I'll have to turn up a whole hour earlier. I know I sound really miserable, but I don't want the photo anyway. I don't like university, so I sure don't want a reminder of it, and I doubt this time next year anyone I was in a class with will remember who I am. I'm not exactly the most outgoing of people.
And then there's graduation. I've been putting off picking up one of these graduation packs from the office for weeks, but I'm going to have to eventually. I tried explaining to my parents that I don't want to to go graduation, but they don't seem to care. I think they are more interested in the day off work they'll get! And if I go I'll have to wear one of those ridiculous robes like on American TV! Even worse, so will everyone else. How will I know who everyone is when they're all dressed exactly the same? And with hats on too!
I don't think I'm going to be able to reason with my parents on this though. My only way out would be to fail, and I DON'T want to do that! They'll have a chance to go to my sister's graduation, and maybe my brother's if he decides to go to uni. I don't see what the big deal is. Am I being really miserable? Would I regret it if I didn't go? Probably, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't want to. I hate situations like that, I'll feel really uncomfortable and out of place, no one will talk to me, I won't be able to think of anything to say to anyone else, it'll be a nightmare.
I suppose when you're panicking about something it often turns out to not be as bad as you think, but that's not helping right now. Still, two months left till I have to do it, and two weeks to the photo. I can't wait till it's all over, though I've no idea what I'm going to be doing this time next year, or even next month.
Well, for now I'll take a deep breath, try not to think about it, and get on with my work.

Aaaaaaaagh!

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